As COVID-19 restrictions slowly ease, it is possible that we’ll finally be able to celebrate the holidays with our extended families again. This may sound fun and exciting because after all, we’ve all been locked up in our homes for months and at long last, family reunions are a thing again.

But this may not be the case for everyone. Events like these sometimes cause silent disputes between relatives. Most of the time because of unwanted comments that often sound unintentionally rude. Millennials and Gen Z often call these kinds of remarks as “tita comments”.

These comments wittingly or unwittingly pierce souls and crush hearts, coming in different forms. Our imaginative and opinionated titas will not run out of passive-aggressive comments which brings gloom to our once in a blue moon reunions. Do these comments sound familiar to you?

Physical appearance comments. With or without their graded glasses our titas have an eye for even the slightest change in our body.

“Tumataba/pumapayat ka yata,”
“Dumadami pimples mo,”

What’s utterly fascinating is that when our bodies didn’t change at all, they still have something to say.

“Ang taba/payat mo pa rin,”
“Liit mo pa rin, di ka na lumaki,”

Lovelife comments. Titas love to meddle with our personal lives, especially with our relationships/lovelife. Single and career-oriented persons are the most common target of these remarks.

“Bakit wala ka pa rin gf/bf?”
“Tatanda kang dalaga/binata niyan,”

But that doesn’t end there. Sometimes, titas also judge those who are already in a relationship. So, whether you have a love life or not, be ready with these comments.

“Ang bata-bata mo pa, nag-jojowa ka na,”
“Bakit di pa kayo nagpapakasal?”

Career comments. Aside from relationships, they also take note about the course of our careers. Sometimes, they also have the audacity to question our life choices.

“Bakit ganyang course kinuha mo? Mababa sweldo niyan, dapat ganito, ganyan,”
“Graduate ka ng Engineering, tapos nagcall center ka?”

Quite annoying right? These are some of the comments that we may have to deal with during our family gatherings.

So here are some suggestions on how to respond to these tita comments:

1. Ignore – This may be hard, especially if you are the “palaban” type of person. But always remember that a disregarded flower withers and does not bloom. Meaning, your tita will eventually get tired talking and make herself busy with something else aside from commenting about your life.

2. Change topic – Shift the focus of the conversation. If you can, make your tita the topic, so that she can feel what you feel and at the same time, she’ll be busy talking about herself and might forget about you.

3. Answer sarcastically but not rude – Think of an epic comeback to the comment/question given to you—it can be an honest answer or a joke. Just make sure that it will be satisfying enough to shut her up. But always remember that you don’t need to be rude. First, because they are still your family and second, because you don’t have to stoop down to their level.

4. Laugh it out and make it seem like it’s a joke – Whatever they say should not always matter to you. At the end of the end of the day, the words they’ve thrown at you are not what defines you. Just laugh at whatever pointless comment they make about your life. Laughing is good for us anyways.

5. Agree but don’t accept – Sometimes, answering their questions and comments just makes the conversation longer. And we don’t want that! We want to get out of the situation as soon as possible. Agreeing does not mean you accept what they’ve told you. Agreeing just means that you just wanted to end the discussion.
“Kaya nga po eh.”
“Oo nga po.”

6. Excuse yourself – You have the right to walk out of the situation if you feel that what they’re doing/saying is already out of bounds. It is good to distance yourself to them if you feel like you’re angry, ashamed, and such. Remember that your feelings are valid, and it is not your fault that you’ve been feeling that.

These suggestions may come in handy in your next family gathering, so take note!